Lots of people look for instantenous ways to be happy, and dancing can be one of them. Many feel silly dancing, especially on their own. Their own minds prevent them from dancing in empty rooms with no one watching! Yet, despite this initial unease, dancing can be an immediate way to distract yourself from your negative thoughts and negative mood. Dancing is a form of “meditation through action”, in which your movement forces your brain to stop distracting itself with memories or current thoughts and embrace the exercise and fun you’re forcing your body to take part in.
Whenever you’re feeling down or low, why not participate in some dancing? Whatever music genre you enjoy, you can always find a nice beat to move to. Even if you feel awkward or odd dancing by your lonesome, just push through and force yourself to dance for a few minutes. You’ll soon realize that it doesn’t matter if you dance on your own, and you don’t have to feel odd about it. You may even find yourself laughing for the absurdity of feeling awkward about dancing on your own in the first place!
Dancing is also obviously a form of exercise – it may not match up to cardio and such, but any exercise helps to kick start endorphins and get you feeling much more happy. Have you ever heard of dance and movement therapy? This is most often performed by women, but men can take part in this too, there should be no gender restriction in the overall goal to be happy!
Some cultures find it as a form of meditative cleansing to dance and “lash” out in a way to “cleanse” yourself of negative thoughts and emotions that you’ve been hanging on to. If you try to channel all this pent up emotion into your movements, you can utilize this as an alternate way of venting your sadness. Some eastern cultures believe a certain ‘chakra’ is responsible for holding on to these thoughts and emotions from past experiences, and suggest this exercise to cleanse.
Regardless of what culture or religion you take part in, it’s inarguable that exercise and dancing leads to instant endorphins which can take you out of any slump you’re currently in. Force yourself to jump up and dance a bit, and laugh at yourself for the near instant 180 of emotion and mental state!
Sometimes, as some sink further into depression, they begin to struggle with the question of whether or not they should go to a therapist or psychiatrist. Some people will debate the pros and cons between going and just dealing with it on their own.
When going to a psychiatrist, they will ask your symptoms, get a brief history of what you’ve experienced, and immediately prescribe something. However, their prescriptions are not an immediate mood increaser. Most of the time they will not even start to affect you until 30 days have passed, which is an eternity when you’re feeling down and low. Many times, despite waiting these 30 days, you will find that there is no change at all. You still feel exactly the same. That is because psychiatrists will typically just guess at what drug to give you to help you be happy on a more regular basis. Their aim for doing this is a chemical imbalance, which you may or may not have. There are many cases where people will go in and get something prescribed, when they don’t even have a chemical imbalance. They are just experiencing a long slump of depression.
Long slumps of depression can trigger after something major, and it’s very hard to distinguish between an actual issue and any type of chemical balance for psychiatrists. Some psychiatrists will even tell you straight up that their job is to push pills, and not to fix the problem. They will recommend you to a counselor or a therapist to further help break down what the root mental cause of your pain and suffering is.
When going to a psychologist you can expect them to analyze your past and history, and they will ask you questions about your parenting. Your childhood especially, they will ask you how your family ties are and how you feel about many experiences of your life. In most cases, they will even have you evaluate your moods on a day to day basis to try to identify points of depression that keep re-occuring, or help identify certain stressors that may be affecting your happiness.
Therapists take the same aim as psychologists, they will ask the same questions – as for which to see? That’s not as important when it comes to the difference between therapy and psychology. Both have the same knowledge level and will offer the same courses of remedy. Sometimes a psychologist or therapist will refer you to a psychiatrist to recommend the possibility of taking something alongside your therapy with them, but in most cases – psychiatrist, psychology or therapist, they will all agree that there is no permanent fix through drugs. When it comes to root issues, they want you to bring up everything from the past and get it out in the air to deal with it.
Getting everything out from the past can be a very tough thing. Bringing up past memories you have long forgotten about can be very rough, despite how far back you think they are. It’s surprising how much emotion can come from recalling the experiences in detail – which they will ask you to recall these experiences in as much detail as you can muster.
The single most important thing to consider when finding a therapist or psychologist to talk to, is one you are comfortable with. Never be afraid to seek multiple out. If you don’t feel comfortable with one after a few sessions, or even if you don’t feel comfortable after one session and you don’t feel that it’ll change, I’d suggest to start looking elsewhere. However, you may be surprised if you don’t feel comfortable with one, how that may change upon the next session if you get to know a little about them.
It’s a bit unsettling to be telling your life story while someone just sits and listen, but that can be a great thing. Expelling out all of your emotion and negative thoughts can be very cleansing, and lead to an increase in happiness and mood almost right away. It always feels good to vent, but we are often discouraged from venting because we don’t want to involve our friends or family in these negative thoughts. A therapist/psychologist is a great medium for this.
You can also expect to learn of exercises to help deal with certain emotions and thoughts that re-occur from stressors throughout our daily life. You may be shocked to learn many of the habits learned from your parents or emotions you felt way back when, are actually still affecting you to this day.
However, some people just do not prefer to talk these things out. Psychologists and therapists tend to agree that hampering anything inside will just lead to it resurfacing at a later point, but there are people who are OK with working it out on their own. They spend time reflecting and considering different points of view on what the issues were that they experienced. Sometimes this roots into seeking of religion and other spiritual pursuit.
In closing, if you’re the type of person who absolutely does not wish to talk out all their issues and problems, by all means, please continue to try working it out on your own. Find support in whichever way you feel comfortable. There is more than one way to cure your depression and struggles in life. The brain isn’t mapped out completely, we only know of things that have helped others in the past. Although, if you’re the type of person who is okay with talking out your life story and experiences, then by all means, there are plenty services available to help with this too.
Either way, approaching these issues requires an open mind and a will to change.
Most people look for an instantaneous way to be happy / increase their mood. While there are ways to instantly boost your mood and happiness (some located here in another post of mine), there are much more permanent solutions you can work towards. Depression, sadness and negative emotions occur natural. There is nothing you can do to permanently get rid of them, as they are bodily reactions
Depression and such can trigger from outside sources when you least expect it. It can come from your job, a distant memory, or from someone close to you. Distant memories of past pain are one of the most notorious for suddenly bringing you down on a perfectly good day. What are the re-occurring instances of your depression? Have you ever thought to make a list and log each and every negative thought that continues to bother you?
Through persistent action, you can deliver a devastating blow to the part of the brain that likes to keep you in lingering negative emotion. Not to be confused with self-destruction; Continuous positive mental reinforcement can steadily bring your mind back to a stabile state. Some people are highly resistant to counseling and therapy. My advice to you if you’re one of those people, is to not force yourself to attend counseling and therapy if you’re that resistant to it. Psychiatry is another path, but medicine to treat depression is not only controversial, but it can put you on a path of utilizing medicine permanently while you are only depressed or feeling down for a certain amount of time. Each of us knows the therapy course for our own problems, inside ourselves, despite how hidden and unclear it may be. Training yourself to notice this, and use this as a tool to combat negative emotions, can be a great life skill. Medicine and anti-depressants will typically hinder this as it makes you feel better immediately, and this is not always the case. Many times you will take anti-depressants for a months’ time and still not feel the effects.
You need to continue doing battle against the sub-conscious that will draw you into negative emotions. It’s a long road, but just like driving to a destination 100 miles away, it seems like a long boring drive along the way, but when you’re there, you’re there and you forgot all about the drive.
Your persistence and willpower in this will help you change in ways you never thought possible. It will pay off, and you will be able to help relay this skill unto others when you notice someone feeling down. Please remember that your sub-conscious is also thinking, and I completely understand all the conscious resistance when trying to make these changes, it’s hard. Being around others who are freer in their own mind can help you graduate yourself from your current state of mind. Being happy is contagious; don’t abandon your friends just because they’re negative sometimes, but being around positive people will help you change even quicker.
Don’t expect to see dramatic changes in a day. You can’t change your body type within a day, and this is much like body-building, for your mind. You’re working out your mind; you’re trimming negative emotion just like body fat. You’re cutting weight in the form of negative thoughts/
Loneliness. It’s often that we feel extremely lonely after a loss. Even after the loss has stopped affecting us in day to day life a reminder, a song, a smell, triggers the most vivid memories and can ignite loneliness.
What is loneliness? The sadness that we aren’t back in the moments we’re reflecting on, the sadness that something isn’t the same. The sadness that someone isn’t around anymore.
You will never be able to escape feeling lonely, missing someone or feeling that nostalgia of a time once past. Don’t let that cause you distress. These moments that feel crushing and overbearing do pass, just as rainclouds do in the sky – the sun always comes out to shine again.
Life brings these beautiful moments and experiences to us that bring us great joy and comfort, so despite the fact that things have changed, feel appreciation for the fact that you were fortunate enough to experience them. Good times come again, there can be no happiness without sadness.
Oh, how often have we become distressed with our situation? The overwhelming feeling of not knowing exactly what you want in life, or where you want to go. Which “path” you should be on.
We’ve been conditioned to expect extra-ordinary things out of life. We forget we’re merely creatures of the earth, set to live out our lives in the moment and dance off to our next destination on the spiritual timeline. We think too far ahead for the “prize”, the “reward”, the “destination”.
If you take a look at animals, at insects, you won’t see them rushing, concerned about a deadline to meet. They merely go at their own pace – unless threatened. Half the time, we are creating an imaginary deadline to meet – and are envisioning the worst case scenario to happen at the end of that possibly missed deadline.
It is often because of this lack of direction – that we feel anxiety, as we’ve been conditioned to have a plan since a young age. “What do you want to be when you grow up?” It’s great to dream and imagine possible jobs – but the question is haunting throughout the ages. Highschool – suddenly we’re on the brink of being a young responsible adult and we need to decide what we want to be doing for the rest of our lives.
Unfortunately, despite all the movies we grew up watching, the stories and fairy tales, life doesn’t always allow for your plans to follow through as expected. We have logical brains which prefer stability and commonality, yet we’re floating on a rock in this vast chunk of space, living out constantly changing lives.
What’s the solution? Perhaps the issue is the fact that we’re so concerned with that endpoint, that solution. Life goes on. Life is resilient. Life fights to live. Just as a light will fight with every lumen of strength against the darkness, life invigorates us with a mystical energy.
The next time you get caught up in drama – take a breath, have a seat outside and admire the life around you – trees with no extra ordinary plan in life – but to sit and life out it’s life, enjoying the warmth of the sun, and the life that tree creates by simply taking part in existence.
It’s more often than not that we are making more drama than necessary out of an issue – as hard as it may be to admit it. Yes, some things are justifiably wrong and you are justifiable to feel hurt or saddened by some events.
Although, if you take a step back from the onslaught of negative thought patterns bubbling in your head from the drama – and make an effort to get away from the situation and reflect – you may come to notice how insignificant our self proclaimed problems really are.
In one of the previous cities I lived in, when I got upset, or had a bad day, or just felt utterly hopeless about things, I would climb to the top of this hill that had a clear view of the city. Seeing the trees wrapping the city, the way the city could fit in my hands, knowing there was thousands upon thousands of people going about their lives; compared to that enormity, my little problems were nothing. Compared to the sky above, with billions of stars and galaxies unknown to us; compared to the enormity of everything we don’t know about in the entire universe – these “issues” are nothing.
Try to take a break often and look up at the night sky, go to a location with a great view. Remind yourself that these every-day miracles we take for granted, can outshine our self proclaimed problems.
This day and age, people expect you to be the best of the best – there’s an underlying pressure to never make mistakes, and it’s become so mainstream that we punish ourselves for our mistakes. We live in a society that is advancing so fast it is now expected in some positions to dedicate 20 years of your life to education – before getting into the competition of landing the job you spent your life to achieve. The bar rises, constantly – while uncertainty rings clear.
We find ourselves suspicious that we can achieve these goals – we don’t believe we can, and this is what causes the gap. It’s wonderful to have goals to go after, but it’s too often in this rushed society that we forget ourselves in pursuing something at the cost of our physical and mental health. Slow down and take a breath. Realize you’ve lived this long while making mistakes. Realize there will always be obstacles in life, in all shapes and forms. They will get in your way at the worst times. Yet, despite all this rush, despite all these obstacles and goals with a deadline – life is simple. We simply need to eat, drink and sleep. Remember that anyone and anything that expects you to be completely confident and perfect, is irrational.
We continue forgetting that we control the way in which we view everything.
We forget by requesting the forgiveness and approval of others – whether it be in the form of acceptance or further expectation – we are most often ready to do what is needed to get that certificate of approval back. To be assured that we are a good person.
It’s very hard in today’s society to remember that our growth and self approval is one of the important paths we can dedicate ourselves to. We forget as we’re used to being cared for by others that, we too, can nurture ourselves. There is no one more infinitely forgiving or unforgiving and brutal than your own self.
We know ourselves, despite the confusion that is a popular sickness these days – we know the things that motivate us, move us, depress us and demoralize us. We know the exact words and phrases needed to strike large blows against our own psyche, and often continue with the ongoing war against our own mind.
It’s time we take this ongoing war against ourselves and approve a ceasefire. An agreement that no self destructional words or ideas should be given any power in our minds.
We should also take into account how we are akin to being nurtured into believing what we want, and should definitely feel no qualm in self nurturing. Despite the required social interaction in society, we don’t need to sign our happiness away with those interactions, same as we don’t need to put so much expectancy in being nurtured and re assured by another.
There is Nothing more powerful than self approval and self acceptance.
There are times when our mind reaches a tipping point, where we want nothing other than to get far, far away from our current position in life. Such times are normal, and despite the immense urge to surrender to the feeling, we should practice patience and not rush to change our immediate position.
Don’t get me wrong – I belive it’s an important experience to feel such a thing. It is what forces our mind to re-evaluate possibilities and scenarios we wouldn’t normally humor. As with all perception changes, any insight is good insight and helps reflection as a whole.
During these times – I highly suggest going with that feeling of needing some time apart and disconnection – although to not take it as far as an impulse can go. Take time to yourself, take a day off, and do something completely by yourself, with no distraction. This allows the mind time to subconsciously work on what it needs, and lets you get distance from the issue at hand.
Shame is the nagging reminder that we made a mistake, and we deeply regret making that mistake, either because we were caught up in an emotional moment, or we simply did wrong.
Shame is something that can be dwelled in for very long periods of time, because despite the fact that shame causes us unease, our brain keeps us reliving this shame through our conscious thoughts. We often feel as though we need the assured forgiveness from the situation that arose, yet even after we get this re-assurance, we still have the recoil of the negative emotion.
The mind likes a problem, it likes shame, as it creates a virtual drama, where you are the star, and the star has a big problem to solve – it gives it a purpose, a reason to tick. Simply knowing the minds’ tricks is enough to start a resistance to the negativity that the mind can bring.
The only way to combat something like shame – is to adamantly try to avoid the past and live more in the present. Having the strength to face the shameful situations in an attempt to discover that life does move on, and the moment in which we are currently in is infinetly more appealing than anything of the past.
Another key to forgetting shame is self-forgiveness and self-acceptance. Accepting your faults and imperfections as a part of yourself, an ever-changing and growing being.